It just keeps spinning .. around and around .. I know I need to slow down and analyze my decisions .. I need to figure out what I want and set out on the path to get it.

Problem is .. I enjoy this teetering in between stage I am in and I'm not sure I want out of it just yet .. although it has its ups and downs ..for the most part I'm happy .. and isn't that all that matters?

But with happiness comes the setbacks .. the things that fall through .. the ideas that get shot down .. everything that gets in the way of consistent bliss.. all of the things we experience every day that sadden our mood ...but I just push them out of my mind and keep plugging on.

But in moments like this one .. they all come back and flood my mind and say to me, "Jess, come on!  Do something!  Something different .. something outrageous to mask all of the crap you want nothing to do with ..

What to do...